Parody
by Puff the Fishxx
Summary: Just a parody of FMA and a collectiom of persom jokes.


Disclaimer: Oh...my...word. There are so many personal jokes in here from my friends and I that I don't know what's mine and not. Oh well, to be on the safe side: I own nothing from Fullmetal Alchemist, or any rights/anything about and/or to Dance Dance Revolution. (Wow, doesn't that tell you how this will turn out XD)

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Winry: What do you mean you got beat up…again!

Ed: Well, Greed came in and we got into a fight, and he broke my automail. -large sweat drops begin to appear on his face-

Winry: And I suppose you want me to fix it again. -Looks very ticked off-

Ed: Maaaybe…

Al: Hey Ed, how come you've never fixed your automail by transmuting it into its original form.

Ed: Err….shut up, Al!

Al: Ah! What? I was just making a suggestion!

Ed: Shut up!

Winry: Ed…?

Ed: -looks worried- Well, uh, you see it makes my automail more flimsy that way and…well you know. Flimsy automail is bad in my business.

Al: You just wanna see Winry again. That's why you keep getting into fights, and not taking better care of you auto—

Ed: -accidentally on purpose knocks Al's helmet off- Oops -grins-

Al: HEY! -chases after his helmet-

Ed: -snickers-

Winry: Ed…is that true?

Ed: What? Uh…NO! No, definitely not!

Winry: You jerk! -proceeds to hit Ed over the head with her wrench- Hmph!

Ed: OW! -rubs top of head- What did I do!

Winry: What do you think?

Ed: …Ummm….

Pinaco: Ed, how many jackets do you go through, anyway? That's the fifteenth one I've either mended or resewn.

Ed: Well…hey! Why you guys buggin me about how I take care of my things!

Winry: Cause they're not yours! If you didn't make it you have no claim to it!

Ed: I WEAR IT! HOW CAN IT NOT BE MINE! IT'S MY ARM! IT'S MY LEG! I USE IT, NOT YOU!

Winry: I DON'T CARE! I MADE IT, IT'S MINE! IT'S GOT MY COPYRIGHT ON IT!

Ed: …It does?

Winry: -Grabs Ed's automail leg, and flips it upwards- See? -points to a mark that has a W in a circle-

Ed: Ow! Leggo my leg!

Winry: Who's leg?

Ed: MINE!

Winry: -frowns unhappily-

Pinaco: Edward, back to your jacket dilemma. Do you really expect me to always make you new jackets?

Ed: …yes? Isn't a soldier supposed to come home to love and compassion and warm home cooked meals?

Pinaco: You're not a soldier, you're a dog.

Ed: SAME DIFFERENCE!

Pinaco: Maybe in your mind. When you've saved hundreds of peoples lives at one time, let me know.

Ed: BUT I HAVE!

Pinaco: Prove it!

Ed: All those people in the valley being taxed until they couldn't afford to eat! How bout that!

Pinaco: Were they near death? Noooo.

Ed: No, but they would have been eventually!

Pinaco: They would have left at that time.

Ed: Stubborn old goat -Looks at Pinaco menacingly-

Pinaco: BRING IT ON SHRIMP!

Ed: WHO YOU CALLIN A - -

Winry: -knocks Ed unconscious using her wrench- Don't hurt my grandma!

Ed: -Lies unconscious on the floor-

Pinaco: Thank you, deary.

Winry: Any time. -walks off, dragging Ed behind her- Guess I'll fix his automail since he broke it just to see me…

Pinaco: Have fun, dear. Now Al, what about you? Any bones to pick, any sewing need done.

Al: Well…my apron…thing got ripped in the last battle…

-In Winry's Shop-

Winry: -Wakes Ed up by prodding him in the side-

Ed: zzz...OW! Hey, what?

Winry: I'm gonna do your automail now.

Ed: …Why didn't you just let me sleep?

Winry: -narrows eyes- I want you to feel every ounce of pain you inflict on me whenever you ignore my letters.

Ed: -Eyes wide; whimpers-

Winry: Oh shut up! You're not a whipped puppy!

Ed: No, but I'm a scared little boy….

Winry: Yes you ar--Wait a minute. Did you just call yourself little?

Ed: -twitches slightly- Soap! Where's the soap! -Runs to bathroom and begins to wash his mouth out with soap-

Winry: -Laughs at the spectacle-

-Three hours later, after Ed's automail is completely healed-

Ed: Okay then, I suppose we'll be leaving now. I've got my jacket, Al's apron is fine, my automail works great, and I have a full stomach for the long journey back to HQ. -sighs-

Winry: Uh! But you only just got here!

Ed: Winry, we've been here a whole day, that's not just got here.

Winry: Okay, you've only been here a few hours!

Al: Well, we didn't exactly get permission to come out here.

Ed: And the Colonel's probably gonna yell at me for that too. Aw great, isn't this my lucky day? Well, we'll be seein ya Winry, Pinaco!

Pinaco: Take care! -Watches boys leave-

Winry: -yells- If you die I'll kill you!

Ed: Don't worry, I'm not gonna die!

Al: Nope, you'll just go through a creepy gate, go to the other world, and get dragged into a World War, but you won't die.

Ed: Aaalll……

Al: Ahehehe…Sorry. -laughs nervously-

-At HQ-

Ed: -sighs-

Al: What's wrong brother?

Ed: Oh nothing, just that my ear's are still ringing from Winry yelling at me. I'm not in the mood to hear the Colonel yell too…

Al: It might not be so bad. You'll see.

Ed: Maybe -opens office door-

Everyone: SHRIMP! -everyone rushes at Ed-

Ed: Ahhh! What! Leave me alone!

Breda: Aw man, never mind guys, it's just Ed.

Ed: Huh?

Breda: We're waiting for the delivery guy. The one that's suppose to cater the party.

Ed: Party, what party?

Hawkeye: The Colonel's birthday is today. See, we knew you wouldn't come if we told you we were having a surprise birthday party for him, so we told you it was a mandatory meeting instead.

Ed: …-sarcasm- I feel so loved…

Breda: Shh! Shh! He's coming! Hide!

Ed: -hides under desk-

Al: -Puts lamp shade over head-

Everyone else: -Hide in various places about the room-

Mustang: -walks in- Hello? -Turns on lights-

Everyone: SURPRISE!

Mustang: AHHH! -snaps fingers-

Everyone: -looks at him angrily-

Roy: -Grins nervously- S—sorry…

-After all burns are mended, and delivery guy appears-

Breda: Oh hey, look! -picks up a piece of shrimp- Shrimp!

Ed: Yeah?

Breda: I didn't call you.

Mustang: You responded to Shrimp, Ed.

Ed: No I didn't -looks around nervously-

Al: You did…

Everyone: -laughs-

Ed: Stop it!

Everyone: -laughs more-

Ed: STOP IT!

Mustang: Calm down, Ed. grins It's all just fun and games.

Ed: For you maybe…-Glares at Mustang-

Mustang: Cheer up.

Breda: Okay, Mustang, I got you the best present I could get for a man such as yourself.

Mustang: What's that?

Breda: TA DA! -gives Mustang pictures-

Mustang: Hawkeye at the Christmas Party! Thank you, Breda! That IS the best present I could get!

Hawkeye: Gimme that! -snatches pictures-

Breda: Nooo! Do you know how long it took to get those! I had to blackmail like FIVE DIFFERENT PEOPLE!

Mustang: -Sniff- Do you know how long I've wanted to see that?

Hawkeye: No, and I don't care. -tosses photos into fire-

Mustang: Nooo! -begins to dive into fire to retrieve photos-

Hawkeye: Stop him!

Ed: Gladly! -tackles Mustang to side; punches him knocking Mustang unconscious- There ya go. Problem solved! -grins-

Al: Not really. You just knocked out our guest of honor -looks at Ed unhappily-

Ed: Oops…Umm, on with the party!

Everyone: -shrugs- Okay.

Black Hayate: BARK BARK! BARK BARK BARK!

Hawkeye: Translation: "I'm hungry. Please feed me."

Ed: How do you know this stuff?

Hawkeye: -Gives Ed death glare-

Ed: I'll feed the doggy! -runs off-

Mustang: -lies unconscious on the ground-

Breda: What are we gonna do? He's right in the way of where they're going to put the DDR machine.

Hawkeye: We could pick him up and move him.

Breda: I have a better idea. -walks over to window- CHECK IT OUT! Winry Rockbell is coming to the party!

Mustang: -pops head up- Mini-skirt girl?

Breda: Yes.

Mustang: AH HA! -jumps up and runs out door-

Breda: We won't be seeing him for a while. Bring in the DDR machine!

Delivery boy: That'll be $225 and ninety four cents.

Breda: -Slams door in boy's face-

Hawkeye: Who was that?

Breda: No one.

Ed: -comes back- COOL! -hops up on the DDR machine- What is it?

Breda: It's Dance Dance Revolution!

Ed: Dance Dance, what?

Breda: DDR!

Ed: And that is…?

Breda: You dance! See, when the rainbow arrows points to the screen meet the blank arrows point again you step on the arrow that lights up points to floor We'll start you out on beginner mode since you're so sm--

Ed: -death glare-

Breda: Smart! Did I say beginner? I meant advanced cause you're so smart! -smiles nervously-

Ed: That's what I thought you said.

Winry: -walks in- Umm…why is Colonel Airhead following me around?

Hawkeye: BREDA!

Breda: WHAT! Ohh…You're jealous!

Hawkeye: -blushes- No I'm not!

Breda: Well maybe you and Winry should go shopping together, then the Colonel- -

Hawkeye: I AM NOT JEALOUS!

Breda: -Backs down- Okay. You're not jealous!

Mustang: -smiles at Winry-

Ed: -punches Mustang- Paws off!

Mustang: -falls to floor unconscious-

Hawkeye: He does that a lot.

Winry: EEDD!

Ed: What!

Winry: You were supposed to let my boyfriend protect me!

Ed: BOYFRIEND!

Russell: -walks up- What's going on?

Winry: Russy-poo! -Hugs Russell-

Russell: Glad to see you too, Winry.

Havoc: Woah, hold up, since when did blondie dump pipsqueak for the fake Edward here?

Russell: What's with all the name calling?

Ed: DON'T CALL ME PIPSQUEAK!

Winry: YOU'RE BLONDE TOO!

Havoc: No, just my bangs, I'm really brunette.

Winry: What's the difference!

Havoc: Brown, blonde, brown, blonde. Get the picture?

Ed: -throws Havoc out of window- Hee hee. Anyone else wanna make fun of my height?

Everyone: Nope, not me. I'm good. I'm perfectly okay!

Ed: Yeah. That's what I thought. Now. Winry! How could you do this to me!

Winry: Do what? -clings to Russell-

Ed: That! That right there!

Winry: WHAT! -Hugs Russell-

Ed: THAT!

Winry: What? This? -Kisses Russell-

Ed: YES THAT! THAT RIGHT THERE!

Russell: I'm not complaining.

Ed: Shut up, kid!

Russell: What are you talking about! You're shorter than me!

Ed: Yeah, but I'm older! So you have to obey me!

Winry: You're younger? How old are you?

Russell: Fourteen. That's not a bad thing, is it?

Winry: Well, you look seventeen, so I guess it's okay. At least you don't look twelve, like Ed.

Ed: HEY! It's not my fault I'm small!

Winry: Well if you'd drink milk!

Ed: DON'T EVEN GO THERE, MISSY!

Winry: What did you just call me!

Ed:…Nothing.

Al: -snickers-

Ed: How could you do that anyway!

Winry: Well OBVIOUSLY you were never gonna ask me out, so when Russell did I.said.yes.

Ed: You coulda said 'No'! I was getting around to it!

Russell: Early bird, my friend. Early bird.

Ed: SHUT UP!

Hawkeye: Really, Ed. You need to calm down.

Ed: Calm! I'm perfectly calm! WHO'S NOT CALM!

Winry: You.

Ed: AHHHHHHHHHHH! -jumps out window-

Russell: You don't see a flying shrimp everyday, that's for sure…

Everyone: -stares out window- … -hear Ed hit the ground-

Ed: I'm okay…I'm alive…barely….Hello Havoc…

Havoc: Hello, Shrimp.

Ed: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Winry: Wait a minute...Ed just made a suicidal jump, and he wears all black.

Russell: Your point?

Winry: ED'S EMO!

Everyone: -stares at Winry confused-

Winry: Think about it! He ALWAYS wears black, and a blood red coat.

Everyone: Yeeaah...

Winry: And he's ALWAYS going on suicidal missions.

Everyone: Yeeaah...

Winry: And he's a lot of times angry at everyone, including himself.

Everyone: Yeeaah...

Winry: He's depressed sometimes.

Everyone: Yeeaah...

Winry: And he's ALWAYS turning his arm into a blade thing.

Hawkeye: I...guess I can kind of see that.

Winry: See?

Everyone: Wow...

Russell: You're right.

Al: I can never look at Brother the same again...

Ed: -in the courtyard- Why do I get the strange feeling that someone is talking about me...and making fun of me?

Havoc: Because they are.

Ed: Shut...up...

Hawkeye: Well. It's midnight everyone. I don't care where you go, but you have GOT to go!

Everyone: Why? We're having so much fun!

Hawkeye: Half of our people are unconscious, and the rest are tired from that stupid ADD machine.

Breda: DDR!

Hawkeye: Whatever.

Narorator: So. Everyone goes home, accept Mustang because no one cared enough to wake him up. The End.

* * *

Puff the Fishxx: No offense to anyone on the Emo thing. It was just something me and a couple of friends thought up while eating pocky and reading manga. XD 


End file.
